you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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