I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
