I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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