last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
