You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
