she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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