With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
