I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
