Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
