I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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