so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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