I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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