we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize