Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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