I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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