I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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