I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
