i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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