today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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