the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
