The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
