I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
