And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
