I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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