the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize