I don't remember. Are we still dating?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
