So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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