two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
