so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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