I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
