I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
