My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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