I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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