"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
