before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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