some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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