you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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