gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize