my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
