i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
