Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
