i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
