so let's talk penis.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
