don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
