they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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