I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
