It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
