you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
