Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
