I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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