You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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