that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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