You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize