my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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