u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
