OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The uberlube is also flammable
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
