what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
