you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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