I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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