mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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