dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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