His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i need some magic done to my vagina
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
