I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
