I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize